So, I wake up miraculously on time today and decide to curl my hair, however, by the time I get to work it is no longer curly, but a messy mess. Now, this may not seem like a big deal, BUT, for how bad I looked, I really could have used the extra 15 mins of sleep.
So the day starts out at a minus 1.
Next, when I get to work the hospital is crazy. The Emergency room is soooo full, that Labor and Delivery/Postpartum is full of odd patients;
like broken legs, and crazy people...
Day=minus 2.
Next, the nursing supervisor over the hospital takes a huge fall and lands on her 9 month pregnant belly... but does she have time to worry about herself?
Um, NO! The E.R. is full!
So, I'm trying to convince her to let me take care of her, because she is now obviously contracting... Hmmmmm...
Day=minus 3.
We keep progressing through the day when I am reading a nursing journal magazine and come upon an ad (see photo #1)
OK... Who was the marketing director for this ad?!?!?
this creepy "Chester the Molester" is asking me to take my pants off?
(It really is an ad for men to have their prostate checked, but thanks to this ad, all men will now die of prostate cancer!)
I laughed my head off... So day=plus 1.
So the day starts out at a minus 1.
Next, when I get to work the hospital is crazy. The Emergency room is soooo full, that Labor and Delivery/Postpartum is full of odd patients;
like broken legs, and crazy people...
Day=minus 2.
Next, the nursing supervisor over the hospital takes a huge fall and lands on her 9 month pregnant belly... but does she have time to worry about herself?
Um, NO! The E.R. is full!
So, I'm trying to convince her to let me take care of her, because she is now obviously contracting... Hmmmmm...
Day=minus 3.
We keep progressing through the day when I am reading a nursing journal magazine and come upon an ad (see photo #1)
OK... Who was the marketing director for this ad?!?!?
this creepy "Chester the Molester" is asking me to take my pants off?
(It really is an ad for men to have their prostate checked, but thanks to this ad, all men will now die of prostate cancer!)
I laughed my head off... So day=plus 1.
Next, my lunch makes me laugh because obviously it is an oxymoron. (photo # 2)
Day=plus 2.
Day=plus 2.
Here is where it gets good...
The nursing supervisor calls me and asks me a favor, "Kim, will you please go to room 243 (this is a Postpartum room) and take out an IV?"
"Of course!" This is no big deal.
I go down to the room and see someone lying in the bed, Hmmmmm.... are they asleep? They are covered with a sheet. So I pull back the sheet and I am confronted with a VERY LARGE, VERY DEAD, man.
I will spare you some of the details, but lets just say he was very blue, very cold and very dead... Calmly, because really how much worse can this day get?? I walk out of the room and go find my other nurse Cresta. "Cresta?" I ask, "can you come help me in room 243 because there is a dead guy in there and I am really hoping he is supposed to be dead, and I am slightly freaked out..."
Cresta begins to laugh, "there is soooo not a dead guy in room 243!" "Kim you are so funny!"
Oh dear... Day = minus 1000 (and counting)
"No really Cresta, there is a dead guy in there and I am going to need your help."
(Oh, this day...)
Then Mark calls: "Kim," he says. "You have both car seats in your car and I have to take the kids to my mom's before I go to work."
Day= Oh, who's counting!!
(Cresta left work at 3 PM and lovingly dropped the car seats off at my house for Mark. I mean, after all, what is one more favor when she's helped me with the dead guy?)
The nursing supervisor calls me and asks me a favor, "Kim, will you please go to room 243 (this is a Postpartum room) and take out an IV?"
"Of course!" This is no big deal.
I go down to the room and see someone lying in the bed, Hmmmmm.... are they asleep? They are covered with a sheet. So I pull back the sheet and I am confronted with a VERY LARGE, VERY DEAD, man.
I will spare you some of the details, but lets just say he was very blue, very cold and very dead... Calmly, because really how much worse can this day get?? I walk out of the room and go find my other nurse Cresta. "Cresta?" I ask, "can you come help me in room 243 because there is a dead guy in there and I am really hoping he is supposed to be dead, and I am slightly freaked out..."
Cresta begins to laugh, "there is soooo not a dead guy in room 243!" "Kim you are so funny!"
Oh dear... Day = minus 1000 (and counting)
"No really Cresta, there is a dead guy in there and I am going to need your help."
(Oh, this day...)
Then Mark calls: "Kim," he says. "You have both car seats in your car and I have to take the kids to my mom's before I go to work."
Day= Oh, who's counting!!
(Cresta left work at 3 PM and lovingly dropped the car seats off at my house for Mark. I mean, after all, what is one more favor when she's helped me with the dead guy?)
So, to cap this day off, I get home and my house is messy, and smells remarkably like someone died in the kitchen (pun intended.)
So I get to clean up the house now. (Ok, my house really isn't that trashed, it just makes this post sound funnier...)
But for some odd reason the fact that my front yard is overgrown with weeds is just the straw that breaks my back! And I spend and hour from 9PM to 10PM with a flashlight out in the front yard pulling weeds.
So I get to clean up the house now. (Ok, my house really isn't that trashed, it just makes this post sound funnier...)
But for some odd reason the fact that my front yard is overgrown with weeds is just the straw that breaks my back! And I spend and hour from 9PM to 10PM with a flashlight out in the front yard pulling weeds.
5 comments:
OK.....That was hilarious (except the NS falling)! Now...let me tell you about my experience with the man in 243! I got to assist stripping and bathing him! (DAY minus 10,000)! LOL! I did most of the bathing as I didn't want him remembered by his wife (who was VERY nice) as smelly! My last remembrance of my dad....he looked like Dracula! So, I have this thing about trying to make their last look at their family member not as bad as it could be! Thanks for being there today, by the way! XOXOX!
Oh man Kim...that's really putting my bad days into perspective :) You lived to tell the tale and a crazy one it was! I love all your hospital stories...so entertaining.
Oh wow, what a day!! Ok, so here's a random tidbit for you. I was leaving the pool after Maddie's swim lessons and there was a lady trying to start her van. It wasn't starting so she asked if I could help her jump start her car. After a minute she said, "you look really familiar". She looked familiar too, but I couldn't remember how I knew her. Then she said her name is "Liberty"! I was like, "OH! you were me and Kim's first EFY leader!". Haha! Totally random. Good memories :)
WOW! What a day, haha! I especially loved the part about finding the dead guy! What the heck was that all about?! Did the ER just wanna pull a prank on you and thought, "I think we'll just put this dead guy on the postpartum floor?!" WHO DOES THAT?? Thanks so much for the orientation to L&D the other day, you're the best!
Good thing you were working with such and awesome nurse to make the day better!! And I don't remember thinking that your hair looked awful either.
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