Merry Christmas!

Merry Christmas!
Let me tell you about this great day I had today...
Mom got to take a nap :)
We went to dinner at the Olive Garden (Mmmmm)
The kids were very well behaved :)
We took Peyton to see "Scrooge" at Rodgers Memorial Theatre and he loved it, and was also amazingly well behaved!
Now both boys are asleep and I am about to crawl into bed with my new electric blanket... (it was my Christmas present from Mark, but he hid it under the bed- so I found it; and now I am using it early!!)
Really- a fantastic day!

Oh yeah, I am also officially done and wrapped for Christmas!

Ryker turns one!

Happy Birthday to my little spunky Ryker!

It makes me cringe to think back to a year ago...

This is Ryker after intubation, before life flight took him away...

Ugh! Not the best "Birth" day... but Ryker has quickly made up for his rough start and is the happiest, craziest, messiest little man a mama could ask for!!

I love this picture, because I think that every mom can relate to finding their sleeping baby like this! And you had better not move them, or nap time is over, so you just sigh and take a picture... How can this be comfy??

This is Ryker, crazy happy over his birthday presents!!
Although, truth be told, Peyton was a lot more excited than Ryker about all the presents, and for some reason thinks that him and Ryker should "share" everything!

The snowman Birthday cake...

Happiness to Ryker!
And happiness to mom! (no more formula!!)

Help!

Help!

I'm carrying around 60 extra pounds!
There is no diet that can help me loose this weight, it's mostly in my arms...
They only way to drop these extra pounds...

Is to set them down!

Halloween

Here we go... Halloween 2009!
I adore this holiday, it's fun to decorate, fun to cook for, and the kids love it!
Here is my monkey Ryker blowing you some bubbles!

Peyton is a boxer (I'm no make-up artist... he is supposed to have a black eye and bloody lip.)
And I am supposed to be a giant red crayon.

Peyton and cousin Hayley/Minnie

Mini Mummy pizza's (if you can't tell- as some couldn't...) Cupcake spiders (that needed black licorice legs- couldn't find it...) and root beer (semi-homemade...)

Don't give me too much credit.

Hayley, Peyton, Zekie
So very, very excited to go trick or treating!
They completely grasped the concept that people give you candy on this holiday- and were all fired up to start ringing doorbells!

Ryker is almost 11 months old now... He has a record 6 teeth! So, he had his first taste of candy. See the mouth open wide??
GIVE ME MORE MAMA!!!
He also got his first taste of popcorn. Salty, buttery, mmmm heaven!

I hope everyone's Halloween holiday was as amazing as mine!

Fall family Photos

There you have it!

"Faking it"

I do a lot of faking. And not in the way you think... (I never have to fake that...)

In thinking about my average day, I have to put on a show, or, fake it all the time.

Example: As a labor nurse I have to "pretend" to be some girls best friend and biggest supporter all day. -- "I love you _____ !" "You can do this!" "You're so amazing and strong!" (The last one is my favorite! I tell everyone this! Come on! Not everyone is amazing and strong- women everywhere are having babies (there's someone in the next room doing the exact same thing actually...)

Anyway, if you think back to your Labor and Delivery nurse when you had your baby(s) She really had to put on a show for you. Hold your hand while you're getting your epidural. Get your husband soda and cookies. Tell your extended family to "GO AWAY" when you are to scared to do it. Smile and act like the horrible name you picked out for your child is -the cutest name EVER! And soooo original. Pretend to care about your RIDICULOUS birth plan, and help you to breast feed... Tell you everything will be OK- just one more push!! ALL LIES! ALL FAKE!

I really don't care! I'm only here cause they pay me! (not entirely true... I love my job, and I do care about your baby and your medical care. I just don't care that much.) I walk out to the nurses station when it is all over and sigh, and make fun of you and think "why isn't there a daytime EMMY award for nurses?"

Then, at the end of the day, I go home and fake it some more... Oh, all smiles and happiness to be home! It's OK that the house is a mess, it doesn't bother me... (fake- it does bug me.) I'll get dinner on- smile, smile...
Then I change poopy diapers with a smile and a giggle, I tickle little bellies and pretend to be a pirate while the kids are in the bath... I put on a great show of reading stories with fabulously funny voices, and give Mariah Carey a run for her money with my rendition of "Wheels on the bus" and "little bunny fo fo" bedtime songs...

Aaaah, the only time I don't fake it, is with Mark. That last hour of the day when I sit down and relax and I get to complain my head off to my husband, and be all sorts of pessimistic and onry. Aaaah, sweet relief.
But, therein lies the problem. Mark kinda likes happy Kimi. He wants me to keep up the show. He wants the smiles and hugs and happiness. But I can't do it all the time hun! Even an incredible actress such as myself needs a little "down time..."

So this has also got me thinking, that if I am "faking it" all the time; maybe it's not really fake.... Hmmmmm... Maybe the gooey, sappy Kimi is the real Kimi, and the pessimistic crap left over is where I fake it. I mean, if 18 hours out of the day I put on a smile, eventually that has to become the real me right??
So, now I am having an identity crisis. Where have I gone? Who am I?

Hmmmmm again.

But, I do really love my children-- funny voices and all. And I do really love my job-- crazy pregnant people and all. And I do REALLY love my Marky-- Pessimism and all (I fell kinda bad, all he gets are the leftovers.)
And maybe if I was skinnier- I could try out for a spot on "Grey's Anatomy" I really feel I am well prepared for any role. And then, and only then, would I be compensated fairly for my amazing acting skills!!!

:)

Sleep

Day in the life of me...

Go to work- deliver babies, get blood on my shoes. ugh.
Come home- make dinner, feed boys, do dishes, clean up toys, feed boys something else... Ryker inevitably spits up something orange on carpet that wont come out, even with vigorous scrubbing. Bathe boys, pj's, stories, songs... ect. Peyton has night terror, Ryker wakes up.... Pick up more toys, attempt to do laundry... Fall asleep while brushing teeth.

Aaaah, so here's the deal. I am a very tired Kimi. I go to the dentist, they allow me to LAY down- and there are no kids needing me... I, of course, immediately fall asleep. My dentist thinks this is really funny. I am, he says, the only patient who can sleep through a root canal... or even a simple cleaning. (They LAY the chair back?!?! Come on...)

I fall asleep in line at the grocery store, at stoplights, while having conversations with Mark... Anywhere really.

I'm tired.

So, this week I also FINALLY had a day where I was able to SQUEEZE in a massage. Don't get too excited for me yet. This was a gift certificate for my birthday that I am just now using... 2 months late. So lets get real- a quiet dark room, bed, massage... I promptly fall asleep. ARRRRRRGH. Falling asleep is fine at the dentist, but I really WANTED to stay awake for the massage so I could FEEL it. Bummer.
I mean it was like lay down, "how's the pressure?" "OK, good" and then... "OK, Kim, we're all done now." I was like- laugh, laugh, very funny, you just started. Um, nope. I fell asleep.

This just keeps getting better. So I thought I would share my funny story about the craziest place I have ever fallen asleep...

When I first became pregnant with Ryker I was a little nervous. This had been an assisted pregnancy due to some infertility and I was having some bleeding. So, as I work with my OB, he agreed to give me an early ultrasound to make me happy. (*make me stop bugging him...)
Come over to the office at the end of the day, he says, and I will just fit you in real quick. No problem.
I go to the office just before 5 PM. No one is expecting me, but my doctor just tells me to go into the ultrasound room and wait for him. I also need to mention that because this is an EARLY ultrasound, it is the kind I have to get necked for. I change into the drape, and wait. Again, this is a room with a table/bed in it; I'm pregnant (= tired). So after a while I just lay back....

When I come to- I look at the clock and see, much to my surprise, that it is well past 6 PM. Oh dear.
I slowly get up off the table and with the thin paper drape around me, open the room door and peek out into a VERY DARK, VERY EMPTY hall. Ummmmm. "Dr ____ ?" I call. "Anyone??" I tiptoe down the hall to the desk area, yup, everyone is gone. The office is all locked up.
And you know the 1st thing that comes to my mind? I really wanted that ultrasound!!!

So my OB, who I work closely with, nonetheless. Totally forgot me. All the office staff locked up and went home, all while I slept peacefully in a thin paper gown in the ultrasound room.

It's a good thing I don't embarrass easily and know my way around this office, because I have to get dressed and let myself out (and lock up behind me...)

The next morning when I went to work the night shift laughed at me, and said that when Dr ____ came in, in the middle of the night for a c-section, he had this epiphany in the operating room and suddenly remembered that he had left me there!
He was all "OH NO! I think I left Kim in the ultrasound room!"
So the girls were all like- how long did you wait, maybe a 1/2 hour?
Nope, not me! I fell asleep and waited almost 2 hours!

So this-everyone, is the most unusual place I have fallen asleep. And also the running joke at the hospital!